February 6, 2008
by Keith Simerson

After watching Bill O'Reilly "interview" Ron Paul on his show back in Sept., I think it would be fair to say that Mr. Paul discovered how incredibly difficult it can be to try and converse with someone like Mr. O'Reilly who is obviously endowed with a pervasive and overflowing omniscient wisdom that gives him the right to not allow someone the privilege to finish answering his questions before being rudely interrupted time and again.

Seeing this wisdom in action caused me to re-evaluate a personal concern that needs my full attention.

It seems that I have got a problem with my neighbor that needs to be rectified and Mr. O'Reilly may have given me the proverbial shove in the right direction. Allow me to explain.

When it comes to addressing the problems that some nations or countries have with us because of our aggressive foreign policies and our supposedly legitimate responses to them, none do it better than O'Reilly. According to what I heard in Paul's interview, not to mention the rhetoric that I have heard for the last 5 years, it appears that O'Reilly believes #1-the U.S. is always right, #2- it is always the victim, and #3- it is always the good guy, and that gives us the right to aggressively pursue other nations and take it to them so they can not bring any violence or disruptions to our home soil. That mentality might possibly explain why there are more and more folks around this world that would gladly consider launching an attack against us; especially when we have so many troops away from the homeland.

What I really think we have created is a whole mess of people around the world that are just plain ol' tired of the US always thinking that their ways and methods are above reproach.

I wondered what would happen if I chose to escalate a feud between myself and one of my neighbors that I am not particularly fond of. You know the type ... one of those people that you can not see eye to eye with on anything and declares you wrong if you differ from their opinion in the slightest degree.

Anyway, back to my neighbor. It all started when someone told me that he didn't like me.

That particular news did not surprise me for I have known that for years. There have been disputes and a couple of near fights. It is no secret that we are enemies and for the most part we have learned to leave one another alone. You stay on your property and I'll stay on mine.

But I have recently discovered that this loose cannon owns several firearms which concern me regarding the safety of my family. Despite the fact that I actually have many more weapons than he, does not mean that I am being two-faced about this either. I   happen to believe that I will not hurt anyone with the weapons that I own. That potential danger lies only with the other man.

I am worried that he might decide to use his weapons against me or my family unless I do something quickly.

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I simply can not have someone that dislikes me, be in possession of weapons that they could use to inflict harm on me or my family. Of course, the thought has occurred from time to time that maybe he feels the same way toward me and that his reasons for acquiring those weapons may be for the same purposes as I, but that would mean, by simple logic, that I could no longer be the only good guy in this matter.

I was also told by law enforcement that I could not trespass on his property to find evidence that would substantiate my claims. They told me that I would have to utilize the judicial system like everyone else if I thought that my neighbor was going to attempt to bring harm against me and then I could use that evidence to administer proper legal action.

That pesky Bill of Rights and the Constitution do seem to interfere every time when issues like these arise don't they?

To make matters worse, one of my friendlier neighbors (translation: one that always agrees with me though there are some nasty rumors that he talks about me behind my back) told me that he had been asked by the neighbor in question if he knew anything about propane gas!

Now I am really concerned! What could he possibly be up to?!?!

Then, in horror, the thought occurred to me that maybe he was planning to launch Molotov cocktails from propane gas canisters onto my property! Oh my god!!! Can you imagine the devastation that it would cause if he would learn how to do this?!?

I thought about phoning Mr. O'Reilly and asking him if I should apply the same logic for attacking my neighbor as the US did for justifying the attack on Iraq and quite possibly in Iran. If I decided to protect my property in the same way and launch a preemptive attack against my neighbor for something that he may or may not do somewhere down the road, would I not be guilty of an act of aggression that bordered on insanity that would be difficult to reign in once started? Not to mention the fact that I would probably become so paranoid that I would begin seeing demons behind every bush ... no pun intended. What do you think, Mr. O'Reilly! What should I do?

I do not know how to handle this dilemma. I thought about praying for wisdom but why do that when I can simply listen to The Omniscient One each night on cable as he voices his omniscience and cuts short anyone that disagrees with him, like Mr. Paul. Maybe I will pick up some advice on what to do in my situation if I listen to his elegant oratory.

So, Mr. O'Reilly, as you utilize your vast powers of foreknowledge, please tell me how this continuing occupation in Iraq has made this nation stronger and better off financially. It actually looks for all the world like we have weakened in every way and the people of this great nation are sensing huge financial changes coming down the road no matter how much smoke gets blown up our behinds to the contrary.

Then again, I am only a mere mortal in desperate need of guidance. I will humbly wait for your answer and pray that my concerns will be heard before you cut me off after every other sentence I speak.

Amen.

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Keith Simerson [send him email] is a self-employed foundryman and sculptor as well as an Air Force veteran in the security field.  See his blog at www.snarlingcrow.com

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