February 27, 2008
by Volt and Electra Penn

Duck and cover, the sky is falling. John McCain's top-of-the-heap media advisor, Mark McKinnon, member in good standing of the greater Gangster Business Class, has been heard saying, "I would simply be uncomfortable being in a campaign that would be inevitably attacking Barack Obama."  Now, that is one dung heap of double back confused doublespeak, so to speak.

Do you really think U.P.S. suddenly dropped a conscience on Mr. McKinnon's doorstep? Most likely McKinnon's loose scruples received a scrambled signal that said, 'You're working for the wrong guy. McCain's a loser.'

Mark has decided it's time to throw out the traditional White Middle Class Values for some good old Unconventional Black Leadership. He's figured out that gnarly old white men are really ugly and viral young black men are hip and beautiful. He said so himself when he stated, "I met Barack Obama. I read his book. I like him a great deal."

Well, don't worry, Mark. If it's a little late to get a job with Obama you can shill for Lance Armstrong, Inc. And hey, it would be a great career move. You'll slide from virtual Manipulator for the Master, to Meditative Masturbator for the Populist Masses. Just remember to change to a yellow wristband.

Meanwhile in D.C. it seems we're finally getting closer to the truth that Karl Rove was a porky squealer taking orders from the swami smarter, who Broadcasting and Cable Magazine says is, 'one of a handful of players who plays a card in every big decision, consensus or road block in Washington.putting a unique hidden stamp on the outcome of today's debates.'

Whoa. Pray tell us what instigates a McKinnon hidden stamp. Is it a Boy George presidential burp, a Condi buck-tooth giggle or a Cheney angry scowl that sets off a chain reaction of signing statements that slash our freedoms to the bone?

It's no wonder we wonder makes a Mark McKinnon tick. Could it be a mile-wide compulsive/obsessive streak in a life where others chew your nails and eat your stress? How else to account for the boyish Opie smile, the Ralph Reed squeaky-clean looks and the polished unwrinkled fore-bumper?

President Boy George has royally decreed that he was, "really impressed by Mark's creativity and particularly impressed by his honesty."

Isn't that just special? Creativity? Honesty? Those are pretty big words for Boy to use, unless they were picked up from the first lady during a bedtime story. If there's an ounce of original thought inside Boy George's brain, I implore it to stand up and be counted along with any missing honesty.

Don't forget that Senator John McCain dropped a big describer for his media advisor, too. "McKinnon's almost a genius," he spouted off one day, meaning that McKinnon might be one point short of being really smart, if he's not one point over the line knowing everything.

There are a few of us who remember McKinnon when he backed the comic strip character Hank the Hallucination for student president of the University of Texas.  Surprise, Mr. McKinnon, if you're still backing hallucinations these days, you've picked live ones that bite back and make other people bleed for real.

Way back in the early 80's McKinnon was editor for the Daily Texan, U.T.'s student newspaper. Around that time Electra and I were calling Austin, Texas home on the range. One of our first written submissions was to the Texan, and it started something like this:

'Psssst. Don't let this get out, but the Rich - you know, the ones that are 'on the board of directors' -   they're not only different from you and me, but they need us. We justify their existence. Oh sure, they laugh at our raggedy poverty, take advantage of us in business dealings and you know - sometimes might even feel sorry for us at a social fundraiser. But it's been that way forever and there's little we can do, short of stealing their loose change to change the direction of human misbehavior.'

Mr. McKinnon's typed rejection to our submission went like this: 'Sorry, this is not what we're looking for. Not here, not now, not ever.' He ended with, 'You know no, no?'

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That's now a matter of historical record, just like the weird episode in the mid '90's when Mark McKinnon fell in love with a man. Mark admits his flirtatious glance was directed at Boy George: "It was like when a man's at a party with his wife and sees a beautiful woman across the room," and that's how the affair was started.

Thus, the media maestro is either a complete idiot of arrested development, or a habitual liar who throws out any line to swallow for entertainment with the hors d'oeuvres. Then again he could have licked one of those orange sugar cubes and mistook Boy George for another Hank-the-Hallucination.

It is strange how early McKinnon crawled into bed with a Bush. Back in those hoary old days, he was the one who described himself as a 'bit of an anarchist'.  That instant magnetism, when the poles of McKinnon's inner compass swung around to Bush, must have been propelled with money, power and influence.

McKinnon says, "I went to work for George Bush out of respect, loyalty and friendship - which as you know are qualities that are very important to the Bush culture." Oh, the black mold that calls itself a Bush, is a culture?  Was that when McKinnon started to wash the spots on his hands, over and over? I do hope his afterlife life insurance is paid up.

These days even though McKinnon has been outed as the real behind-the-scenes-Oz responsible for turning the media knobs and putting Boy George in power, he hesitates to call himself a Republican. When asked his party affiliation, McKinnon's response is, "Let's just say I'm a man of evolution."

Hey Vanna White, switch those vowels around. We got a man of evil-volition with a party affliction. Is he contagious?

If you read the mission statement of Public Strategies, Inc. of which McKinnon is the vice-chairman, it states: '.to help these enterprises address the full spectrum of opportunities and risks in the public arena, in a way that delivers measurable results'.

In other words: 'Hide in front of a believable facade, draw from a circle of logic to confuse the issue, be one rule ahead of the game so as to make the next rule, pass all public litmus tests by changing colors, but most importantly - as long as a client can afford it - win, no matter what it costs. 

As far as I'm concerned Mr. McKinnon can never erase the damage he's done to the American body politic. If he really wants to 'do the right thing' and be an asset to his country McKinnon might look up to Sarah Chayes, a dynamic woman who founded Afghans for a Civil Society.  Ms. Chayes teaches basic civic lessons to Afghan men and women willing to listen and who are not afraid to practice real freedom. A few private lessons in ethics never hurt anybody.

And Mr. McKinnon, since you are so highly intelligent, I urge you to take note of Ms. Chayes. Quit using your evolved brain and immense talent to lay waste to America's civil liberties. Get on the right side this time. Get on the side that won't play that inevitable 'clash of cultures' game. And, stop influencing those who are eager to mimic your slash and burn technique to further a client's cause. Instead, when you lecture, show some respect for yourself, your family, and your country by teaching our future American politicians good, honest civic lessons about sound government leadership. Our country and your eternity will appreciate it.

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Have Penn they'll listen. Volt Penn writes speeches for Progressive Populists and reasoned arguments for those on the left of center. He has also written speeches for anybody who has read his work. You can reach Volt Penn through his artist friend, b.b.kemp, at bbkemp@bbkemp.com

Volt/Electra Penn copyright 2008

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