November 12, 2007
by Volt and Electra Penn 

Those were the days my friend. We thought they'd never end, but they did - on 9/11. Before that fateful day an ordinary person could write a letter, send it by U.S. Mail to an extraordinary individual and fully expect to receive an answer. Yes, it all sounds so maudlin now, those halcyon days long ago, before there was an axis of evil, lurking terrorists or WMD under every Muslim prayer rug. 

In those days, I was so energized with enthusiasm that I decided to query the famous and infamous. I wanted to know about an instant in time that is seldom discussed - THE END. Not too long after Madalyn Murray O'Hair was murdered and her body positively identified, I posed as an English student working on a thesis project. In a handwritten letter I asked whether or not the spirit/soul/essence of America's most hated woman had gone to heaven, hell or someplace else in between. In other words I wanted to know, "Did God Damn Madalyn?" For every 100 questionnaires sent by post, I got back 10. Much to my surprise the responses were well thought out and personally signed by the responder. 

It's almost unheard of to receive, even from friends, personal insight about such a delicate subject. But to connect with well-known authors, talk show hosts, politicians, movie stars, doctors, Nazi hunters, porno peddlers, scientists and even the very first Playboy bunny, was inspiring.  Posing as a student was disingenuous, but justification comes by another writer who'd done it before.  In 1961, John Howard Griffin did a bit of stunt reporting, passing himself off as a Black man to write the book, Black Like Me. 

Charlton Heston was the first to answer my letter.  I'm not a movie critic and hold nothing against the man for his many roles - except when he tried to play a Mexican villain married to a Caucasian woman in ?A Touch of Evil'. I respect Mr. Heston for his great talent, as well as his prompt reply. I believe his return message was straight from the heart and here's exactly what he said:

Dear B..,

"I have your most intriguing letter: I applaud the kind of questions you are dealing with in your class.

"As to whether God will forgive Ms. O'Hair, I leave that up to Him.

"I wish you well with your English project as with all else. Remember: do your best and keep your promises. And never stop reading."
 

Cordially,

Charlton Heston

(Article Continues Below)

To think that someone as busy as Mr. Heston found the time to lend an ear to an inquiring mind is truly remarkable. For a man of such stature to congratulate some unknown for trying to get her mind around something so far-out, is heartening. It also says something about the character of the man, that he was not hasty to judge someone who at one time was called The Most Hated Woman in America. And of course for Chuck to wish me well at the end, along with the sage advice to always keep promises - why that stops me in my tracks and brings tears to my eyes.

Every year at Easter, millions of us tune in to watch Heston play Moses.

The Ten Commandments is where he becomes a bigger than life hunk, who'll always be ?The Prince of Egypt', friend of Ramses and the man who led a people out of slavery into the Promised Land - hallelujah brother, and pass the popcorn.

But, as they say on the Sunset Strip, you're only as good as your next part. In the last few years Heston has taken on a new roll in leadership. Now, the American Moses of the NRA, not only holds the Ten Commandments, he packs a piece in his pocket, too. Please understand that I'm not here to cast aspersions on gun rights or wrongs. What I am here to say is that given a chance, I bet if Charlton Heston laid down the flintlock for a moment, he'd come up with 10 more C's, that we'll call:

Chuck's Platitudes

• The only way they'll get this gun is to pry it from my cold dead hands.
• Americans are born with the inalienable right to protect themselves from unreasonable search and seizure.
• Americans should be able to have personal conversations without warrant-less wiretapping.
• Prisoners of war should not be subjected to torture. 
• An American is one who is born in the U.S.A., or has come here from another country seeking asylum from tyranny.
• As long as it doesn't infringe on my rights, a person can say anything he wants to.
• There is no good war except one that's never started.
• Believe in what you're doing, do what you believe in.
• Big fish may eat little fish, but little fish have the bigger numbers on their side.
• Call yourself an American politician and your obligation is to ?we the people' and that means all of us in the U.S. who hired you.
• God does not belong in the marketplace of political ideas. He only belongs in the mind and heart of every U.S. citizen.

Well, that's 11, but a few extra never hurt. Read that thumbs-up letter from Mr. Heston one more time. Without a doubt he gave Madalyn the benefit of doubt. To that I say, by GAWD, Heaven's Gate is open to anybody - except for that beer-bellied neighbor with his '76 Malibu parked permanently on cinder blocks, and the reckless woman in traffic smearing on lip-gloss, stuffing her face with a taco, and yakking on her cell.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider the following:

1. Make a donation of $1 or more to help keep this website active.

2. Click Here to Subscribe to the Free Populist Party Newsletter

3. Share this page or get the Populist Party RSS Feed

Have Penn they'll listen. Volt Penn writes speeches for Progressive Populists and reasoned arguments for those on the left of center. He has also written speeches for anybody who has read his work. You can reach Volt Penn through his artist friend, b.b.kemp, at bbkemp@bbkemp.com

Volt/Electra Penn copyright 2007