June 10, 2007
by John Sebastian

If our soldiers are not coming home until this war on terror is over, then our soldiers are never coming home.  Those who do make it home alive will leave chunks of themselves behind.  And some will come to wish they could have left their memories behind too. 

Some will wish they could get back the pieces they gave to war - both the physical and mental pieces. Some will find themselves questioning the trust they gave to those who acted like they knew what they were talking about when they told them the wars were just - because good soldiers are easily deceived, but most eventually catch on.  Some never do, and they never know they have not - they are cannon fodder for warmongers. 

Trust comforts itself.  Once people believe that what they are being told is true, it is difficult to convince them, even after they are shown the 'truth' they believe is not based on facts, that what they believe is not reality-based truth.  It takes a coordinated effort - a conspiracy, if you will, to create this kind of illusion.  Man's normal capacity for self-delusion is not this depraved.

Vanity keeps people from admitting they have been wrong. And pride will not let them believe they have been - so gullible, if they have been on the receiving end of the lie - or so vain, if they have been the audacious liars.  The President and his team, most in Congress, and some common people suffer from this refusal to be honest with themselves. This is how they protect their egos - and that is all those who ignore the truth have left at the end of the day.  It is held dear.

And since they are paying for the time that their ids are kicking their egos' butts while their super-egos are on vacation - with the blood of soldiers and civilians they don't know - they let their bets 'ride'.  They feel no pain and experience no sacrifice - there is no reason for them to get in a hurry about stopping their war games.

Some returning soldiers will welcome their memories of war and accept them; they will reminisce about them; they will hold onto their memories because war will be the most significant emotional experience they will ever have; the memories cannot be forgotten.  These are the fortunate ones. 

Some will learn to cope with their memories of war, and will move on.  They will draw little attention to their war experience.  They will keep theirs under guard. 

Some will find themselves wanting to erase from their mind's eye the witness they bore to the brutal, bloody, senselessness of war.  This is impossible because their scars have been burned too deep.  They will suffer from their war experience beyond what is the expected consequence of any war - but especially cruel if the war was unjust.  Call it "shell shocked" or 'PTSD', it's all the same; it happens every war. When the war ends, it's not over.

The Veterans Administration is the part of our War Department with the responsibility to help physically and mentally damaged soldiers.  We are finding out how capable they are at fixing the mistakes of our leaders - and how serious our leaders are about serving those who served them by serving in their wars. 

This will be a continuation of the war for each soldier who makes it out alive and now needs the support from our leaders who they supported and sacrificed for. 

Our soldiers will continue to try, as they have - with all of the honor they and their families can muster - to follow the orders of our civilian leaders.  But they will never kill or capture all of the terrorists.  They have died trying.  And they will continue to die trying - because they and their families believed the leaders of our country when they said - these wars are necessary, and are bringing honor to them, and are keeping our country safe.   

*******

But, Is this war necessary?

Watching 'Jonny march off to war' was as bad as mom and dad hoped they would ever feel for the rest of their lives.  But they bucked up because they knew why their son was going to war. Our leaders had told them.  This war was necessary and honorable and worth their sacrifice.

The door of the pickup truck slammed closed like a vise around their hearts as they watched their son leave with one of his friends who had also joined the military to protect and defend the honor of our country.

Then, their terror began.  The official-looking mail in their mailbox; hearing news stories about the war, and when the phone rang unexpectedly during the night - this was terror.

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They learned not to worry about the official-looking mail. Their friends told them it was probably just some forms to fill out, and that the military would notify them in person if Jonny died.

They stopped watching the news.  The daily score card, dutifully reported by the media, was a constant reminder that one of those numbers might be their son.  That part of their terror was controlled with the mute button - and it helped chase away their second thoughts about why their son had gone to war.  So, with the mute button, and the word of our leaders that this war was necessary and noble and worth their sacrifice, their terror was muted, but not gone.

Their friends learned not to call at night, but they still turned the phone off when they went to bed. They tried not letting the late calls get to them, but the sudden ringing of the phone in the dark struck like lightning; it was instant terror; too pure to allow.

"But what if it's.?"

"Go to sleep."

Seconds turned to minutes to hours to days to weeks to months.  They wrote letters back and forth, and tried to maintain the bond they had built over two decades of family life.  And they learned to use the internet to send messages to their son.  But as time went on, there was a growing distance, not only between them and their son, but between Jonny and himself.

There was little talk any more about friends and family like when he first started writing.  After a while, he mostly talked of missions and objectives and about his last and next operation.  The more they learned about daily life in the military, the less they understood it.  So mom and dad put another 'X' on the calendar; another day closer to the unknown.  It was time for bed.

"But, he'll change when he comes home, won't he?"

"Go to sleep, its just a couple more weeks."

Then, two men in uniform came to their home.  "We regret to inform you that Jonny."  Nothing else was heard, nor needed to be.  Their terror was replaced with shock, its lethal friend.

After the funeral, Jonny's friend stopped by to visit them.  He had a limp, but other than that he seemed okay.    He told them how he had been wounded a couple of months after he and Jonny had been deployed and that he got 'The Purple Heart'.  He had been in rehab for the past twelve months, and he was starting to get used to his prosthetic leg.  He'd been looking for a job, but his injury was called an 'employment consideration' for most of the jobs he'd applied for.

He talked about how good a soldier Jonny was, that he was a natural leader, and how proud he was that he was serving his country.  And he said that he and Jonny made a deal when they left for war.

If one of them didn't make it back, the other one would stop by his parents' home - and tell them he loved them.  "He loved you; and he missed you."  Soon after Jonny's friend left, the terror returned.

The terror of not knowing if their son had died for a war that was neither necessary nor noble.  And that they were proud of their son and had supported his decision to be a soldier. And that they had believed their leaders; but maybe they had been wrong to trust them.  And their son is dead.

******

Have you tried to find out why your Congressman continues to support the wars - have they gotten back to you with a reasoned answer?  The Presidential Candidates are big on "reasoned" responses, lately. Ask one of them - if you can figure out how.

Have you gotten one of your Congressman's generic 'computer-generated' topically-accurate in only the most general terms "Email Response"?  And did he tell you not to send 'snail mail' unless you wanted to wait 3 to 4 weeks for a reply because the Homeland Security anthrax screening program that is protecting our Government Offices from terrorists is an ongoing effort?  Who is he really trying to stop from getting through to him? 

And if you hand-delivered papers in an open folder to the Honorable Congressman's home office, did your message seem to enter the black hole of Congressional Communications never to be referenced again?  How do we actually talk to our Congressmen?

There is no difference between an open-ended commitment to war and permanent war. And we can't kill all of the terrorists.  And the question is not, "Who are the terrorists?".  The question is, "Who is causing the terror?".

"But."

"Go to sleep."

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John Sebastian [send him email] is a freelance writer and Constitutionalist.