September 18, 2007
by Volt Penn

The news from Sydney, Australia is more than terrible, it's just plain lousy. On the day our president gave a speech at the Sydney Opera House, he misspoke OPEC for APEC, declared an impossible contradiction (that the U.S. and Australia would meet and mix later in the year with OPEC members) and topped it off by referring to Australian soldiers as Austrian trOOps.

That's not just Ozarka W's sucking from his water bottle, folks. It might look like it's straight from the tap, but the bet's on that W's back on the hooch - and that's why Laura's got a pinched nerve. The leader of our ?once free country' was obviously so rip-roaring smashed when he arrived in Australia, he blathered that the U.S. is ?kicking ass' in Iraq.  Yeah Georgie, we're kicking some ass alright, our own.

Needless to say, if the following evidence holds true, then our NeoCon tea-totaling president might also be pro-suicidal. What else would explain such shocking loss of direction, when right after giving his speech in Australia, W purposefully strode toward a precipice before being re-aimed.  Was he lost or just looking for the last exit to paradise? It's a known fact that a cocktail of Prozac and alcohol causes slurred speech, confused thoughts, irrational behavior, and also stops-up the nose.

Okay, so what? A little liquor loosening the limbs and the lips, big deal. Doctors say the hard stuff in moderation is good for the constitution. If you don't buy that, better knock back another shot, because we might be in for an even bigger surprise - and that the president's brain is rotting away with syphilis. I know it's a terrible thought, but any doc will tell you that in the later stages of this sexually transmitted disease the patient exhibits difficulty remembering words, experiences numbness of the jaw that affects speech patterns, grimace for no apparent reason and on occasion attempt to do themselves harm.

Since this is frank talk about venereal disease, we've got to drag out that ol' dawg Adolf Hitler. Long before Das Fuhrer's mind went a missin' with dirty kissin', it was common knowledge that he often rolled up his sleeves to be sociable. Laugh he did, but always at someone else's expense, and (surprise, surprise) he occasionally carried a Bible to church.

As an unemployed youth, Hitler learned the art of networking and depended on others to write his scripts. By the time of the Reichstag fire, he had access to the best brains of the day, the ones highly certified in the dirty political trickster business. One early acquaintance said this about Herr Hitler. 'He was a man you could trust - a true bruder who would help clear your land'. Isn't that sweet? Especially since the German bush-cutter was also a megalomaniac, mass murderer, and only gave speeches before hand-picked crowds of like-minded zombies.

Before he flew totally over the cuckoo's nest, Hitler and his pack of brains had ripped freedom from millions of people, murdered millions more, and confiscated millions in wealth.  The NeoNazis did this by controlling the media, investing heavily in the Germany military industrial's complex and hiring their own Blackwater Gestapo.

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By the early spring of 1941, Hitler was clawing the curtains, rolling on the floor and frothing at the mouth. With their top dog madder than the proverbial hatter, the Neo-Nazi's continued the surge ahead, calling for bigger concentration camps to hold more of those appointed undesirable. They beefed-up Deutschland security, and handed out government payoffs to pregnant women, which translated into more cannon fodder for the Fatherland.

I guess the German NeoNazis thought history lessons only applied to the Abschaum. What else would explain the numbskull decision to invade Russia?  Napoleon tried it, and it didn't work. Funny, how that same beat goes on today.  If Cheney forces Iran's button, more U.S. blood will be spilled on Middle Eastern sand dunes. The final outcome---a full American retreat from Baghdad---which at best would be a worse than worse case scenario of Germany's 1943 death march from Stalingrad.

Behind the scenes, W's handlers must be facing the worst of bad times, because even in the best of times, when their leader opens his mouth he swallows his tongue, tries to walk off a cliff, breaks wind, messes-up a word, or does a puff toad impersonation to hide his drunken-ness.

If there are any truth-seeking members of the media left to tell us about all this, they have become invisible, and the rest can't be trusted to carry a sharpened pencil. That's why at the recent APEC meeting, those who traveled with Bush, those cherry-picked, screened and re-screened compliant bunch of journalistic news-shakers, were not allowed in the Sydney Opera House. 

Needless to say, by now everyone, even those with even a tenuous acceptance of reality, knows that W is totally incapable of any leadership decisions. It is even more alarming that the final word to microwave Iran will be handed down by our very own Vice-in-Hiding. He's the guy who doesn't claim to be part of the government, seceded his office from the branches of government, made a blood oath with the U.S. military industrial's complex, and chopped out the human guarantees of the Geneva Convention along with those in the U.S. Constitution.

Other than a football-sized self induced testosterone/steroid overdose, what could explain Cheney's irrational behavior? Maybe he's into a suicide pact with Israel's Likud and their Revisionist Zionism. If so, our generals, the ones who took an oath to defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States of America, those brave men in uniform better stand down and refuse to honor Dick's insane demands.

None of us want to wind up like those poor bastards in Nazi Germany.  So what if our appointed, anointed and mindless leader claims he cries on God's shoulder? At this point, we all should. Face it, our top dog has over tugged his leash and shredded his food bowl. The only person who might stop this country's extinction is the Nancy we put in charge of ?we the people's' House. If that well-heeled ?yes' woman has any sense, she'll raid Condi's closet, strap on the jackboots and stomp that rat Cheney before he chomps down on the - you know, freaking button.  

But while we're waiting for the Nancy to ?do the right thing', and the voice of authority to tell us if our president is soused or soiled, the last resort left for ?we the people' is to come out of the closet, hoist our glasses and give up a toast for peace because guess what - the fix is in.

To be continued....Volt/Electra Penn copyright ?07

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Have Penn they'll listen. Volt Penn writes speeches for Progressive Populists and reasoned arguments for those on the left of center. He has also written speeches for anybody who has read his work. You can reach Volt Penn through his artist friend, b.b.kemp, at bbkemp@bbkemp.com

Copyright 2007, Volt Penn